Sex can be very awkward, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, do your research before having sex.
If you’re planning to lose your virginity here’s what your mama will never tell you… (shhhhhh)
Ok first things first. I am going to play big sis for a minute and ey don’t judge ok. Flashback to my own experience when I first lost my virginity. Ahhh it feels like a hundred years ago (giggles).
At the time it almost felt like everyone around me was doing it but me. Firstly it was Molly, Summer and then Carla. It was almost like a revolution that I was excluded from. To be honest I was not sure if I was happy to be the only virgin. But anyways, I ended up doing it. Do I regret it? Not really...
Hahahaha it was a scary experience because I didn't know what the Fuck to do.
It does hurt ey, I won’t lie because your vagina is still intact but it doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy this special moment.
I know it’s scary and probably you have heard “painful” stories of how your friends have lost theirs. Well, it really doesn’t have to be...
With that being said, here’s what you need to know before losing your virginity:
Consent and Control
Consent should be one of the fundamental pillar of every relationship you have, whether is friendship, romantic or work. It’s important that you feel comfortable and have a say in what is happening, you should never under any circumstance allow anyone to pressure you to have sex.
Baby girl, just because it’s your first time and you probably don’t know what the fuck is happening. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have a say. If you feel like changing your mind half way when all your clothes are off, please don’t hesitate say no. If you are feeling uncomfortable and overly scared even though your partner tries to talk you through it. It’s probably a right thing to stop and try when you’re ready.
Be Mentally ready, so that you can help your body relax
Sex can be very awkward, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, do your research before having sex. Ask your family and friends that you’re comfortable with for advice. Important, make sure that you understand your body, this will make it easier for you to communicate with your partner about what you like or don’t like. You probably saying, how should I know my body? Well, it’s not rocket science like you’re thinking. Pay attention to when your partner gets intimate with you which body parts get aroused or hunny just touch yourself and make sure you know your body.
Have conversation with your partner before having it, if you have any questions ask them or if you have any recommendations just talk to them. This might not be what you thought or expected right? But communication is key and it also makes it easier for your partner to reach your expectations. It’s your first time, so you should make it count. Important: Please carry your condoms and practise safe sex at all times.
Tip: Try getting a lubricant, this helps the penetration easier and less painful.
“The one” concept is not realistic
We live in a society where girls are encouraged to wait for “the one” and boys get acknowledged when doing it with many girls. Personally I think that the one concept doesn’t exist (discussion for another day), but I do encourage girls to lose their virginity with someone they love, trust, and that respects them. Most importantly someone that their comfortable with.
Realistically speaking now, who do you know that lost their virginity to “the one” and are still with them? Well, you do find a few and sure that’s great for them but most people I know this is not the case including myself. So basically what I am saying is don’t get too caught up to doing it with “the one” because at the end of the day sex is not a gift, so don’t feel like when you doing it with someone is a reward or something. Do it because you want it, you have done your research and you’re ready. Being stuck on the one fairytale might break your heart when things don’t work out in your relationship.
Things can get Messy
Yes sex is not all clean, even though your partner lights up candles, clean white sheets like in movies. Sometimes other girls bleed during their first time of popping up their cherry, it’s ok to get shy but there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Get your towels close and ready so that if it happens you’re ready.
If you don’t bleed during your first time there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone has a different genetic makeup, so breathe and understand your body. Also, there’s a lot of sweating during sex because you know you do things and naturally your body releases sweat. If you;re feeling uncomfortable with all the sweat after just take a shower and you will be fine (:
You might be disappointed
Sometimes our favourite movie sex scene can really mislead us and put our expectations bar to the next level. There’s nothing wrong with having expectation about the unknown.
But chill a bit, it’s your first time. I am sorry to crack your bubble but your first time might not really be so Lit like you expected because of many factors. You might not even climax. Reality might mostly ask you, “is that it, just that?” But chill hon, with experience and more time you will never be disappointed. Take it from me #wink
Have fun!
First time is scary we agree, but this can be the perfect opportunity for you to start building healthy habits around your sexual life. What does this mean? Although you might be scared because you don’t really know what to expect but don’t forget to loosen up and have fun.
Try starting with foreplay, it gets a bit awkward for some people especially for their first time because you don’t really know where to touch or what to do. But what this means in a nutshell is an activity that comes before intercourse it can be kissing, touching, giving each other oral (this is not a must though, if you’re not comfortable (it’s alright, take your time).
Foreplay is important because it gives you and your partner an opportunity to study each others bodies, to feel comfortable with each other and to prepare the body. It’s ok, take your time and enjoy yourself. If at any point during this process you feel like you don’t want to continue, it’s ok. Speak to your partner about it.
Enjoy have fun and remember there are no rules in sex. Just go with each others body flows and have fun.
If you want candle lit room, sunset vibes, favorite RnB song playing at the background or you want 50 shades type of decor. Go for it, it’s your first time. The Climax is the limit.
Drop a comment and tell me if you have any tips. Or feel free to share your first time experience with me
Nice, me love it